Independence – The Joy of Being Alone

One of the harsh lessons the pandemic has taught us is that learning to embrace being alone contributes to our wellbeing and resilience.

When you begin to discover the joy of being alone, magical things start to happen:

1. You become more creative

Being on your own means that you have to fill your time with interesting activities.

2. You are getting out of your comfort zone

Don’t want to be home alone? You decide to go to a cafe or go on holiday anyway. You learn there is no point in missing out only because you don’t have someone else joining you.

3. You can relax and recharge

There is no need to compromise, keeping other people happy, and you have the big bed all for yourself.

4. You get to know yourself

Reflect on your needs and aspirations, your strengths and weaknesses and give yourself the space to fall in love with yourself.

5. You learn to enjoy your own company

When you focus on the positive aspects of being alone, you begin to thrive and enjoy life.

6. You no longer feel lonely

Being alone doesn’t mean you are lonely. You know that you can reach out to people and cultivate a small circle of true friends to connect with.

7. You can be yourself

No need to apologise for not meeting someone else’s expectations, or seek approval by how you look, what you wear, or even how much you fulfil the other person’s needs.

8. You have the chance to fulfil your dreams

Relationships can be stifling, and it is easy to get stuck in routines.

Being on your own helps to be more mindful about exploring and pursuing your goals and dreams.

You can be more adventurous without having to explain yourself.

9. You feel you are in charge of your life

You have control over your finances, work, where you want to live, your sex life, travel destinations, and the company you want to keep and when.

10. You no longer are desperate to be in a relationship

This is one of the most magical effects. So many people embark on a new relationship only because they don’t want to be alone.

They stay in the wrong relationship, because they are scared of feeling lonely, if they leave.

Being at ease in your own company, being your own best friend means that you no longer engage in or put up with drama. You become discerning and choose your company wisely.

Once we have discovered the joy of being alone, we no longer get caught up in making bad decisions about relationships. We no longer neglect friendships for the sake of a relationship.

It is time to shed the idea that being alone – as opposed to being in a relationship – is a weakness or even tragedy in one’s life.

The true tragedy is not being able to be alone, unable to be solitary and enjoying it, not knowing that you are enough.

It is time to embrace being alone – alonement – as a gift to live a fulfilled life.

Warmest wishes,

Christiane

⭐gET INspIrEd⭐

A movie that recently moved me: Portrait of a Lady on Fire – it brought tears to my eyes not because it was sad, but because it was so incredibly beautiful and emotionally powerful

A book I’m currently hooked on: The Subtle Art of not Giving a F*ck – witty, entertaining, and so incredibly wise. Life-changing stuff

My latest Musical Muse: Wanderlust – my personal song collection on Spotify for day-dreams and mind-travel

You Don’t Need To Reach For The Stars

You don’t need to reach for the stars.

What if you are enough?

What if you are good enough and no longer need to self-improve?

What if you are happy right where you are now, and deep down you don’t want to go further, higher, faster?

It is perfectly okay not having the desire to climb up that career ladder and getting all stressed out along the way.

It’s okay not to live up to other people’s expectations and ideas of what success means.

You can be successful in your own little way that lights you up without pushing yourself more and more relentlessly.

It’s okay to quit a job and start over at the bottom of a new profession, simply because it’s fun and exciting rather than giving you a burnout while chasing money and status.

What if all you can think of is to survive each day as it comes rather than entertaining some lofty ambitions?

That’s okay. Take your time to rest and heal. No need to feel shame for not contributing or being productive.

You are worthy of support as much as you give it to others.

No need to be better, richer or more beautiful.

My cat isn’t thinking about changing the colour of her fur to become more popular with other cats.

Maisy

She is happily lying on the sofa practicing self-care, at ease with herself and enjoying the moment.

It is time to be at ease with yourself.

Rather than aiming higher, why not aim lower?

What is really important?

Reach for the stars surrounding you, the ones you perhaps undervalue, take for granted or simply don’t see.

Why not reach for health, nature, togetherness, contentment, exploration, and imagination rather than possessions and status.

And why not accept that sometimes it’s okay to be inadequate.

It’s okay to be not good enough, even though you tried your best at the time, it didn’t work out the way you wanted.

It happens, because you are human. Imperfect, fragile, a little bit messed up.

Forgive yourself.

Questions to explore:

  • Where are you trying too hard and why?
  • What/Who is draining your energy / self-worth?
  • What is not necessary?
  • Where does less give you more?

No longer reaching for the stars doesn’t mean stagnation. Adjusting your trajectory in itself offers new challenges, rewards and growth.

What will be your new challenge while aiming lower, and how will you benefit?

Try this tarot spread:

aim lower tarot spread - you don't need to reach for the stars

Warmest wishes,

Christiane

Page of Wands – Every Day is a New Adventure

page of wands every day is a new adventure

Fuel shortages, empty supermarket shelves, electricity price hikes, impending blackouts…

While the world is becoming even more insane, it might be a good idea to tap into your inner Page of Wands – turning panic into excitement and an adventurous spirit.

After all, that’s all we can do, right?

Okay, we can also stockpile candles and pasta…

Life at the moment certainly isn’t boring.

With all the ongoing disruptions, we don’t know what’s around the corner, so it’s a bit like a suspense thriller.

Whatever next?

Be mindful about how unsettling news and events affect your body – adrenaline surges, constantly lingering in fight or flight mode, increasing fear and foreboding, and the resulting emotional choices and actions we may later regret.

Cultivate a calming balance:

Create nice moments for yourself every day.

Find magic in the ordinary.

Work, rest, play in equal measures.

Embrace uncertainty.

No need to do anything grand or fanciful. It doesn’t need to cost any money.

Often, all it takes is a change of perception.

Conscious acknowledgement.

Awareness.

Knowing that you can choose how you respond.

There is beauty, magic and bliss in the everyday mundane.

With the help of the Page of Wands, every day is a new adventure.

Page of Wands qualities: resourceful, curious, enthusiastic, playful, open-minded, fun-loving, creative, brave

What to avoid: fearfulness, recklessness, aggression, anger, impetuousness, knee-jerk reactions, despondency

Here’s a daily writing practice you can try:

TODAY’S ADVENTURE

  1. A nice moment:
  2. Ordinary magic:
  3. Something to work on:
  4. Playing with:
  5. A restful activity:
  6. Beautiful uncertainty:
  7. A new insight:

Feel free to use a tarot or oracle deck. Anything goes.

every day is a new adventure tarot spread Page of Wands
⭐Grab a printable A4 journal sheet with an illustrated version of this spread on my Patreon

More journaling: The Autumn Divination Kit

My Kind of Minimalism

my kind of minimalism

My decluttering challenge continues, inspired by an array of YouTube videos showing me how to minimise my possessions step-by-step.

There are myths around minimalism – imagine a bedroom with just a bed, a cupboard and nothing else, bare, white walls and empty spaces.

But the designer minimalism is unrealistic for me. I want my place to look like a home – but without the clutter and mess.

My kind of minimalism involves a different approach – getting rid of what collects dust and cannot be stored in cupboard spaces available.

So this week, I focused on window sills, cupboard tops, under bed storage boxes and tables.

In the process, I have noticed that I have far too many vases, photo frames, souvenirs from bygone holidays, dried flower arrangements and dusty ornaments (cute but pointless gifts from well-meaning family).

I even found some old magazines in a box under my bed I didn’t even know I had (WTF 😄) Gone into the recycling bin!

Another bag has gone to the charity shop, and my cupboard tops and window sills are free of clutter – a breath of fresh air.

It also makes a massive difference, when table tops are kept clear of everything but one or two items, such as a candle, flowers or a fruit bowl.

my kind of minimalism - table top

But my kind of minimalism doesn’t end here. Reducing clutter is great, but it needs to be maintained.

Reducing and minimalising rather than hoarding and accumulating to refill the cleared spaces.

My kind of minimalism involves radically cutting down on waste and consumption.

This calls for a new attitude towards materialism. Do I really need all these CDs, books, and DVDs?

Nowadays, I no longer buy CDs but listen to music on Spotify and other streaming services.

While I still have a sizeable book collection (mostly non-fiction and reference books), it has been culled severely in recent weeks, and once I have finished reading a novel, I pass it on to a friend or the charity shop.

The charity shop is also a good place to buy these things second-hand. I have found a few DVD bargains at just 99p, and once I have watched the film, again I pass it on to friends or back to charity.

There really is no need to own these things cluttering up your space.

Here are some other products and household items that often turn quite sneakily into large collections:

  • toiletteries and make-up
  • household cleaning products
  • crockery (mugs!) and kitchen gadgets
  • pens and paper products (if you are into art journaling)
  • hobby supplies, such as yarn and fabrics
  • seasonal decorations
  • towels
  • bedlinen

Sometimes we sleepwalk into a pointless abundance of stuff, which tends to prompt us into buying underbed storage or a bigger cupboard.

But the moment we contemplate buying additional storage, alarm bells should be ringing.

Benefits of reducing consumption:

  • not spending money I don’t have (no debts)
  • no need to work “hard” (no more overtime madness to fund an extravagant lifestyle that drains my health)
  • reducing my carbon footprint
  • not spending more money on extra storage or even a bigger place to live
  • more money to invest in quality rather than quantity
  • ability to save money for rainy days
  • less stress

So far I am really enjoying my new minimalist adventure. There is still much to do and keeping up with what I have achieved.

My big role models are the new tiny houses that have become so popular in recent years.

My aim is to fit everything I own into a tiny house. Perhaps I won’t achieve it, but even if I get only half way there, it would be fantastic.

What are you working on decluttering at the moment? How has adopting minimalism changed your life?

Let me know in the comment box below, I’d love to hear from you.

Until next time,

Christiane

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I Am Not What Happened To Me…

I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become. - Carl Jung

I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become – one of the many life lessons the Tarot has taught me over the years.

There is much beyond our control, but we can choose how we react to what life throws at us.

Rejections, breakups, abuse, loss….

Once you become aware of how your life experiences have influenced and affected you, you have the power to choose what kind of person you want to be, and what kind of life you want to live.

You even have the power to choose how you want to feel.

You have the power to choose a new direction, being different, and cultivate kindness and joy.

You have the power to choose change, forgiveness, healing.

You have the power to choose living in alignment with your talents, needs, values and resources.

Be your own magical influencer.

It is never too late to make that choice.

What are you choosing today?

Live more Magic with the Tarot

Warmest wishes,

Christiane

Stagnation – Making the Most of Feeling Stuck

Stagnation - making the most of feeling stuck
Cosmic Journaling Oracle cards – for healing, growth, mindful living and divination

Stagnation – the opposite of moving, growing, progressing.

An uncomfortable feeling of restlessness, the urge to get up and go, but you can’t…

Who wants to be stuck in limbo?

Waiting for a new job to come up (especially when you are unemployed).

Waiting for new love to come into your life (when you begin to feel that you have been single for too long).

Waiting for a house sale to go through.

Waiting for someone to get in touch with you.

Waiting in the queue, stuck in a traffic jam or at the airport

And then there are pandemic lockdowns to put up with… anything that stops you from getting on with life, and it’s all a little outside your control.

There is only so much you can do to influence your situation, and sometimes you will just have to sit it out until some movement takes place.

It is easy to get impatient, when the time of waiting seems to drag on forever, but instead of thinking that life is passing you by, you can accept stagnation as a gift.

Yes, it is possible to make the most of feeling stuck, because it does have its advantages…

“What we are waiting for is not as important as what happens to us while we are waiting. Trust the process.” 

Mandy Hale

Stagnation doesn’t mean that nothing is happening.

While you are enduring a long waiting phase, tiny shifts occur, internally and externally, without you realising.

A new perspective, a change of heart or mind, a new insight, new opportunities, changing circumstances or priorities….

Even while you are stuck in a long checkout queue, you can simply pause, take a deep breath and enjoy the standstill before you continue being busy again.

Getting back to basics, slowing down…

Stagnation in the Cosmic Journaling Oracle may ask you to embrace a waiting phase as a gift.

You have time to consider your options, discover new opportunities, enjoy the calm before the storm.

Stagnation may also suggest delays, lack of progress, your patience will be tested, self-restriction, rigidity, or the process of sowing, waiting and reaping.

Perhaps you have fallen into the trap of waiting for the future to come –

  • waiting for the weekend
  • waiting for summer
  • waiting to be happy again one day…

In this case, Stagnation reminds you to focus on the present and make the most of the here and now.

Questions to ask:

  • What area in your life are you currently waiting for something, and what is it you are actually waiting for?
  • What can you do to be more relaxed about it and even enjoy this period of stagnation?
  • Look back into your past and remind yourself of times, when you had to wait for something. How did you deal with it, and what happened in the end?

While a longer waiting period in life can be testing, it can also offer new possibilities and a reminder to make the most of the present, spending the extra time available on what you love.

Learn more about the Cosmic Journaling Oracle deck here.

Warmest wishes,

Christiane

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Declutter Challenge: Reducing Possessions by Half

declutter challenge: reducing possessions by half

Reducing possessions by half can be a daunting task, but when I realised the other week that I owned over 30 pairs of shoes, most of which I hardly ever wore, I knew I had to be radical.

It wasn’t just the shoes.

Clothes, bags, books, CDs, DVDs, kitchen gadgets, candle holders, bric-a-brac…. despite regular clearouts over the years, all that stuff still managed to sneak up on me taking over my space and unconsciously my mind.

Not to mention all those tarot and oracle decks and books, which I have collected over the years.

Collecting, collecting…. why?

When did it all start, the idea that we need more and more, the quick thrill of the purchase, and after a short while placed on the shelf or in a box to be used again at one point… or never….

And yet, clinging to those pretty little things for years.

I have enjoyed reading and learning from the books on my shelves, and playing with all those decks, but time has come to pass them on to others.

Joy and wisdom to be shared, not kept.

Reducing possessions by half, where to start?

Shoes. Now I only own ten pairs including winter boots.

Then I moved on to the books. This one was hard.

There were loads of German books I brought to the UK when I moved here.

They had sentimental value, but I realised that they no longer offered me any new knowledge or inspiration.

They simply occupied space, nothing more.

I took six boxes of books to the local Oxfam bookshop, and more is still on its way.

As a result, I got rid of some furniture too, which has created more space for a more relaxed feel.

It is absolutely liberating when all the stuff goes. It is so easy to get attached to things, clinging on to them, thinking it’s impossible to be without them.

But it is possible to be without them, and life even feels better and lighter than before.

I have realised that a lot of things we keep holding on to can cause all sorts of uncomfortable feelings and emotions – memories of loss, bygone eras, endings, people that caused pain.

Why holding on to things associated with all that sadness and keep living in the past?

I have also donated most of my DVDs and CDs to charity together with lots of other stuff – four full bags.

Despite all this major clearout, this has just been the beginning.

My possessions haven’t been reduced by half yet, but I’m so happy about having had this breakthrough of letting go of things I thought I couldn’t be without.

Most important of all, my regained space is not an invitation to refill it again.

Next time I buy a pair of shoes, they will be replacements rather than additions. Same with clothes.

I love reading, so I buy books. But once I have read them, I will pass them on to friends or charity.

As nerdy as it sounds, but clearing out and decluttering has become a new hobby for me 😃

How are you simplifying your life today?

Warmest wishes,

Christiane

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Why Regrets Are Good For You

regrets are good for you
Cosmic Journaling Oracle cards – for healing, growth, mindful living and divination

Regrets have a bad reputation. Whatever you do, they say, don’t have any regrets.

Even Edith Piaff’s famous song, Je ne regrette rien, boasts about not regretting anything.

Over decades, we have been conditioned to aspire to the ideal of living life without having regrets.

After all, regrets can be painful and sometimes soul-destroying. They can cause bitterness, resentment, shame, guilt and no doubt other undesirable emotions.

But what if regrets are designed to make you feel those uncomfortable feelings, so you can learn, make amends, heal and grow?

The trick is not to stay attached to the emotional turmoil remorse can cause.

Regrets are good for you, when you recognise and allow them to help you make positive changes in your life.

Having regrets is not a sign of weakness or “low vibes”.

They are expressions of your shadow, and your inner teacher is flagging them up for you to acknowledge and process them.

Regret is the result of pause and reflection, taking time to review a situation and gain wisdom from it.

Without regrets you would simply continue and make the same mistakes again.

Regrets can be an empowering force on your life journey, especially when you explore their root cause.

They can create turning points, shake-ups and even new opportunities.

Perhaps they have arisen from your lack of knowledge, fears, beliefs or behaviour.

On the other hand, they may have been the product of other people’s actions or expectations.

Regrets also tend to pop up relating to past experiences that can no longer be changed.

That’s when we all wish we had done things differently, but we also know that hindsight is a wonderful thing and only helpful when we apply its lessons learned in the present and future.

Looking back and reflecting on an event with regret helps us realise that we did the best we could at that time and as circumstances allowed.

Remorse can be the catalyst for radical change and transformation by alleviating or redeeming past actions that cannot be undone for the benefit of others.

Regrets are like bereavement; if you keep avoiding the pain and discomfort associated with them, you will continue to live in denial rather than processing them into something positive.

Regrets can also be pesky reminders of past experiences or action you would rather forget, and they keep resurfacing until you have made peace with them.

We feel the grief associated with remorse, but we also deserve to be happy again.

Questions to ask:

  • What is causing my regret?
  • How does it make me feel?
  • What does my regret teach me?
  • How can I do things differently next time?
  • How can I turn regret into relief?
  • What positive action can I take as a result of my regret?
  • What beneficial qualities am I developing/utilising as a result of my remorse?

The bottom line is, it’s okay to have regrets. It’s human. We make mistakes.

Lighten your emotional load by practicing joy, gratitude, forgiveness and patience while processing regret.

Regrets are part of your life journey and who you are. Rather than trying to ignore them, let them teach you and help you grow.

Regrets will always stay with you, but you decide how they affect you.

Warmest wishes,

Christiane

Celebrate The Little Things

celebrate the little things

While the pandemic has caused havoc over the last twelve months across the world, it has taught us that all we can do is surrender and accept what we cannot control.⁠

But it has taught us so much more. Humans have always managed to rise from destruction and disaster.

While we are still counting the costs and trying to fathom the enormity of our losses, there is also light beginning to shine through the cracks.

We have learned

  • to enjoy your own company⁠
  • to be inventive and resourceful⁠
  • to collaborate⁠
  • to be of service⁠
  • to be disciplined⁠
  • to cook and even grow your own food⁠
  • about our strengths and weaknesses⁠
  • about what we truly value and what is unimportant⁠
  • how vulnerable our way of life is⁠

What have you learned so far? ⁠

Take a moment every day to recognise and acknowledge your achievements, a-ha moments, the little wins, insights, flashes of delight, the peace and beauty of a moment. 

Celebrate the little things that give you joy and a sense of satisfaction.⁠

Amidst doubt and uncertainty, there is always a reason to celebrate something, even if it’s small, and even if we have to celebrate alone.

Warmest wishes,

Christiane

PS: Check out Ten Tarot Affirmations To Overcome Anxiety

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