What makes a relationship tick?

It’s always fun and insightful to explore its dynamics and compatibility in tarot love readings.

Often, random cards are drawn in a spread, which is fine, but you can also learn more by working out the couple’s relationship card.

For this, you need to know each person’s personality card and add the numbers of each card together, which gives you the relationship card (The Fool = 22).

I demonstrate this with the personality cards of me and my ex – haha, it’s a crazy fun mindfluff, but it also offers some revelations about what the heck went wrong ?

So this is me (9 – Hermit) and him (4 – Emperor), add both numbers together, which makes Death our relationship card 😀

Well, Death kind of says it all; a Hufflepuff Hermit (zodiac card Knight of Cups – Pisces) trying to make it work with a Slytherin Emperor (zodiac card King of Swords – Aquarius). You can literally feel the cracks forming.

However, Death also indicates that this relationship was transformational in some way.

For me it has helped shift a lot of old baggage, uncomfortable at first, but in the end one of the happiest breakups I have experienced 😀

And what do all the other Major Arcana cards mean as relationship keys?

Here are my suggestions:

1 – The Magician: The only way the Magician can come up as a relationship card is when based on a combination of the Fool (0) and the Magician (1), but because the Magician doesn’t exist as a personality card (birth dates don’t add up to 1), it also won’t come up as a relationship card.

However, the energy of the Magician is inherent in the numbers 10 and 19, and therefore Wheel of Fortune (10) and the Sun (19) relationships have the power to master and resolve any situation that comes their way.

2 – The High Priestess: The only way the High Priestess can come up as relationship card is when combined of the Fool (0) and the High Priestess (2).

A soul connection; mutual understanding without exchanging words. There is a sense of belonging and having known each other for ever. Spiritual nurturing; but also the danger of loosing sight of reality, mixing up naivity with spiritual maturity.

3 – The Empress: a creative connection; family. Traditional roles; physical and sensual attraction are key. A sense of belonging and longevity. A successful partnership. Thrives when mutual interests include spending time in nature.

This relationship doesn’t work well if it’s long-distance or there are longer separations, e.g. extensive business travel.

4 – The Emperor: Strong and committed. This relationship is built on mutual aspirations and ambitions. Both can rely on each other in good as well as bad times. A power couple. Needs to avoid neglecting emotional needs, when focused too much on the business and practical side of the relationship.

5 – The Hierophant: Two people sharing the same values. Traditional, conservative, conventional. Strengthened by taking time for travel, cultural experiences, art and philosophical discussions about politics, religion etc. Avoid lack of change and intolerance.

6 – The Lovers: A constant balance of head and heart. Obstacles and difficulties are overcome with love even if the mind suggests otherwise. Deep down there is certainty that love prevails and both are committed. Opposites attract. A tendency to avoid conflict or frank discussions, which can cause anxiety and deception.

7 – The Chariot: Both people in this relationship prefer to be independent, e.g. keep their separate bank accounts, homes, etc. They walk next to each other rather than towards each other, and yet they are deeply connected. A competitive streak; enjoying sports and travel together. Too much self-reliance can cause detachment. A need to set clear boundaries and keep eyes on mutual goal and aspirations.

8 – Strength: An exciting combination of lust and passion, which won’t be tamed by love and long-term commitment. Heated arguments followed by passionate reconciliation. Power struggles; taming of the shrew. Beauty and the beast. A need for reflection and giving the other space from time to time.

9 – The Hermit: Down to earth; practical; no pretence. A relationship built on honesty and trust. You are true to yourself individually and true to each other. Loyalty. An ideal business partnership working well together. Two introverts found each other, who need to ensure that the relationship keeps growing by pushing their individual comfort zones.

10 – Wheel of Fortune: A karmic relationship; two people have found each other at the right time and know they belong together despite a difficult start. A need to know your purpose as a couple, e.g. starting a family or engaging in social activism, starting a business, helping others etc. If this common purpose is unknown, then feelings of restriction and limitation can come up.

11 – Justice: Equality, fairness. Fairly give and fairly take. A slow starter turning into a strong relationship after much consideration. Harmony; pleasant togetherness. A social couple with good circle of friends. Avoid blaming the other in crisis situations, and try not to focus too much on the other’s flaws.

12 – Hanged Man: Obstacles and difficulties can easily stop this relationship in its tracks. Making sacrifices or simply surrender to outside influences are often the only solution to make it work long-term. Patience. Avoid stubbornness and rigidity; an open and flexible approach is required.

13 – Death: This card doesn’t necessarily mean the end is unavoidable or even in sight. It can be the opposite: lively and transformational for both. Many changes determine the flow of this relationship, e.g. house moves, jobs, family, and the need for constant re-invention and adaptability. It’s intense and any resistance by one or both can indeed mean the end.

14 – Temperance: Opposites attract; making it work requires skill, but with time harmony prevails. A healing relationship. A magical mix of commitment and independence. Playful. Experimental. Finding a middle ground. Avoid pretending that all is fine when it isn’t; frank discussions and conflict help to find solutions and rebalance your equilibrium.

15 – The Devil: Even though this relationship starts off based on strong mutual attraction (so much so that lust and passion can suck sanity out of both parties),  there is danger of codependence and loss of spark in the long-term. That’s because this couple has made a commitment to each other, and they don’t want to break it lightly. This is a positive attitude and combined with keeping love and romance fresh and adventurous, this relationship can keep thriving. Avoid power struggles and competition with each other.

16 – The Tower: Mars rules this relationship, which can be tempestuous, destructive but also liberating at the same time. There is no codependence here; two people have minds and aspirations of their own, which they are determined to pursue. One person doesn’t give up their dreams only to make the other happy. Tolerance and serenity will help weather any storms.

17 – The Star: Optimism, peace and calm dominate this relationship. Drama doesn’t belong here, and any crisis situation is handled with pragmatism and recognising the bigger picture of what is truly important. A strong but gentle bond. No need to get married; perhaps even no need to live together and yet nothing keeps you apart on a spiritual level. Both allow each other space and freedom.

18 – The Moon: a deeply emotional bond; often conflicting emotions, filled with an abundance of imagination and fantasy. A romantic love that may not be the ideal match when looked at in the light of day a couple of months down the line. Nothing is sensible or rational here, but love and infatuation rule in a lingering way. Avoid pull-push scenarios, i.e. leaving and coming back. This will seriously affect your mental health and self-esteem.

19 – The Sun: a glorious life force; whole-heartedness, giving love and affection to each other generously. A relationship that boosts confidence and wellbeing. Quarrels are quickly forgotten. Bringing the best out of each other. A social couple with many friends, enjoying life and fun times. Avoid egotism and self-centredness, which can put a dampener on this relationship.

20 – Judgement: The longer it lasts, the better it gets. Over time, the healing power of this relationship is revealed, having a profound effect on both. In this relationship you can let go of old wounds. A deep bond growing over time and together, this couple can achieve more than indvidually on their own. Mutual help and support. Avoid taking the other for granted. Be prepared to forgive.

21 – The World: Grounding and solid. You know where you stand with each other, accepting each other the way you are. A great foundation for a family. A feeling you have arrived and nothing can tear you apart, except when you start to feel stifled wondering, if there is more out there when contemplating the rest of your life. The antidote to this is celebrating and enjoying life together. Avoid routine turning into complacency.

Remember to take your personality cards into account when exploring your relationship card, which can give you a more insightful portrait of your relationship.

You can also use the relationship card to explore connections with challenging people in your life, e.g. parents, children or siblings to work out issues and possible solutions.

Have fun, and let me know how you get on. I’d love to hear from you.

Warmest wishes,

Christiane