Tarot Love Readings: The Relationship Card

tarot love reading
The Vampire Tarot (c) Robert Place

What makes a relationship tick?

It’s always fun and insightful to explore its dynamics and compatibility in tarot love readings.

Often, random cards are drawn in a spread, which is fine, but you can also learn more by working out the couple’s relationship card.

For this, you need to know each person’s personality card and add the numbers of each card together, which gives you the relationship card (The Fool = 22).

I demonstrate this with the personality cards of me and my ex – haha, it’s a crazy fun mindfluff, but it also offers some revelations about what the heck went wrong ?

So this is me (9 – Hermit) and him (4 – Emperor), add both numbers together, which makes Death our relationship card 😀

steampunk tarot
Steampunk Tarot (c) Llewellyn Worldwide

Well, Death kind of says it all; a Hufflepuff Hermit (zodiac card Knight of Cups – Pisces) trying to make it work with a Slytherin Emperor (zodiac card King of Swords – Aquarius). You can literally feel the cracks forming.

However, Death also indicates that this relationship was transformational in some way.

For me it has helped shift a lot of old baggage, uncomfortable at first, but in the end one of the happiest breakups I have experienced 😀

And what do all the other Major Arcana cards mean as relationship keys?

Here are my suggestions:

1 – The Magician: The only way the Magician can come up as a relationship card is when based on a combination of the Fool (0) and the Magician (1), but because the Magician doesn’t exist as a personality card (birth dates don’t add up to 1), it also won’t come up as a relationship card.

However, the energy of the Magician is inherent in the numbers 10 and 19, and therefore Wheel of Fortune (10) and the Sun (19) relationships have the power to master and resolve any situation that comes their way.

2 – The High Priestess: The only way the High Priestess can come up as relationship card is when combined of the Fool (0) and the High Priestess (2).

A soul connection; mutual understanding without exchanging words. There is a sense of belonging and having known each other for ever. Spiritual nurturing; but also the danger of loosing sight of reality, mixing up naivity with spiritual maturity.

3 – The Empress: a creative connection; family. Traditional roles; physical and sensual attraction are key. A sense of belonging and longevity. A successful partnership. Thrives when mutual interests include spending time in nature.

This relationship doesn’t work well if it’s long-distance or there are longer separations, e.g. extensive business travel.

4 – The Emperor: Strong and committed. This relationship is built on mutual aspirations and ambitions. Both can rely on each other in good as well as bad times. A power couple. Needs to avoid neglecting emotional needs, when focused too much on the business and practical side of the relationship.

5 – The Hierophant: Two people sharing the same values. Traditional, conservative, conventional. Strengthened by taking time for travel, cultural experiences, art and philosophical discussions about politics, religion etc. Avoid lack of change and intolerance.

6 – The Lovers: A constant balance of head and heart. Obstacles and difficulties are overcome with love even if the mind suggests otherwise. Deep down there is certainty that love prevails and both are committed. Opposites attract. A tendency to avoid conflict or frank discussions, which can cause anxiety and deception.

7 – The Chariot: Both people in this relationship prefer to be independent, e.g. keep their separate bank accounts, homes, etc. They walk next to each other rather than towards each other, and yet they are deeply connected. A competitive streak; enjoying sports and travel together. Too much self-reliance can cause detachment. A need to set clear boundaries and keep eyes on mutual goal and aspirations.

8 – Strength: An exciting combination of lust and passion, which won’t be tamed by love and long-term commitment. Heated arguments followed by passionate reconciliation. Power struggles; taming of the shrew. Beauty and the beast. A need for reflection and giving the other space from time to time.

9 – The Hermit: Down to earth; practical; no pretence. A relationship built on honesty and trust. You are true to yourself individually and true to each other. Loyalty. An ideal business partnership working well together. Two introverts found each other, who need to ensure that the relationship keeps growing by pushing their individual comfort zones.

10 – Wheel of Fortune: A karmic relationship; two people have found each other at the right time and know they belong together despite a difficult start. A need to know your purpose as a couple, e.g. starting a family or engaging in social activism, starting a business, helping others etc. If this common purpose is unknown, then feelings of restriction and limitation can come up.

11 – Justice: Equality, fairness. Fairly give and fairly take. A slow starter turning into a strong relationship after much consideration. Harmony; pleasant togetherness. A social couple with good circle of friends. Avoid blaming the other in crisis situations, and try not to focus too much on the other’s flaws.

12 – Hanged Man: Obstacles and difficulties can easily stop this relationship in its tracks. Making sacrifices or simply surrender to outside influences are often the only solution to make it work long-term. Patience. Avoid stubbornness and rigidity; an open and flexible approach is required.

13 – Death: This card doesn’t necessarily mean the end is unavoidable or even in sight. It can be the opposite: lively and transformational for both. Many changes determine the flow of this relationship, e.g. house moves, jobs, family, and the need for constant re-invention and adaptability. It’s intense and any resistance by one or both can indeed mean the end.

14 – Temperance: Opposites attract; making it work requires skill, but with time harmony prevails. A healing relationship. A magical mix of commitment and independence. Playful. Experimental. Finding a middle ground. Avoid pretending that all is fine when it isn’t; frank discussions and conflict help to find solutions and rebalance your equilibrium.

15 – The Devil: Even though this relationship starts off based on strong mutual attraction (so much so that lust and passion can suck sanity out of both parties),  there is danger of codependence and loss of spark in the long-term. That’s because this couple has made a commitment to each other, and they don’t want to break it lightly. This is a positive attitude and combined with keeping love and romance fresh and adventurous, this relationship can keep thriving. Avoid power struggles and competition with each other.

16 – The Tower: Mars rules this relationship, which can be tempestuous, destructive but also liberating at the same time. There is no codependence here; two people have minds and aspirations of their own, which they are determined to pursue. One person doesn’t give up their dreams only to make the other happy. Tolerance and serenity will help weather any storms.

17 – The Star: Optimism, peace and calm dominate this relationship. Drama doesn’t belong here, and any crisis situation is handled with pragmatism and recognising the bigger picture of what is truly important. A strong but gentle bond. No need to get married; perhaps even no need to live together and yet nothing keeps you apart on a spiritual level. Both allow each other space and freedom.

18 – The Moon: a deeply emotional bond; often conflicting emotions, filled with an abundance of imagination and fantasy. A romantic love that may not be the ideal match when looked at in the light of day a couple of months down the line. Nothing is sensible or rational here, but love and infatuation rule in a lingering way. Avoid pull-push scenarios, i.e. leaving and coming back. This will seriously affect your mental health and self-esteem.

19 – The Sun: a glorious life force; whole-heartedness, giving love and affection to each other generously. A relationship that boosts confidence and wellbeing. Quarrels are quickly forgotten. Bringing the best out of each other. A social couple with many friends, enjoying life and fun times. Avoid egotism and self-centredness, which can put a dampener on this relationship.

20 – Judgement: The longer it lasts, the better it gets. Over time, the healing power of this relationship is revealed, having a profound effect on both. In this relationship you can let go of old wounds. A deep bond growing over time and together, this couple can achieve more than indvidually on their own. Mutual help and support. Avoid taking the other for granted. Be prepared to forgive.

discovery tarot course for beginners
Learn Tarot with me

21 – The World: Grounding and solid. You know where you stand with each other, accepting each other the way you are. A great foundation for a family. A feeling you have arrived and nothing can tear you apart, except when you start to feel stifled wondering, if there is more out there when contemplating the rest of your life. The antidote to this is celebrating and enjoying life together. Avoid routine turning into complacency.

Remember to take your personality cards into account when exploring your relationship card, which can give you a more insightful portrait of your relationship.

You can also use the relationship card to explore connections with challenging people in your life, e.g. parents, children or siblings to work out issues and possible solutions.

Have fun, and let me know how you get on. I’d love to hear from you.

Warmest wishes,


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How To Calculate Your Personality and Soul Card

Personality and Soul Cards TarotThe best way to learn the Tarot is by applying the cards to your life experiences, so you can connect with them in an insightful but also practical way.

Discover new aspects of your personality, character, strengths and weaknesses.

Explore your true purpose in life with the help of the cards.

You can identify your personality cards and build your own Tarot personality profile with the help of numerology.

Here you learn how to work out your personality and soul card:

Your personality card indicates what you have to learn in this lifetime. Your soul card shows your soul purpose in all lifetimes.

Both cards are found in the Major Arcana. Work them out as follows:

Your date of birth – e.g. 17-08-1932

17 + 8 + 1932 = 1957

1 + 9 + 5 + 7 = 22

In this case 22 represents The Fool (0), so the Fool is your personality card.

If your personality card is one of the two-digit trumps (10 – 22), you can add both together to determine your Soul card, e.g. 2 + 2 = 4

So in this example, The Fool is the personality card, and the Emperor (4) is the soul card.

If your birth date adds up to single digit number (2 – 9), then your personality card is also your soul card.

hermit emperor fool cosmic faery tarot
The Cosmic Faery Tarot Deck


Now that you’ve worked out your personality and soul card, place them next to each other and examine them carefully one at the time.

By describing each card, try and determine what each card means to you and your life, and what you can learn from their messages.

Do these cards reflect your character? What lessons do they teach you?

Remember, your personality card reflects your life lessons, and your soul card your soul purpose (inner wisdom, inner teacher, spiritual path).

My personality card is the Hermit. Check out the life lessons I have gained so far.

If you enjoy this kind of tarot self-exploration, check out my online tarot courses.

You can also request some fab freebies for more tarot inspiration.

Warmest wishes,


Discover Your Tarot Year Card

Tarot Year Card MeaningsTarot, just like your zodiac sign, can help you gain personal insight into your annual lessons, tests and experiences you will go through by establishing your tarot year card.

Add the month and day of your birth to the current year, e.g.:

18th July in 2006 = 18 + 7 + 2006 = 2031 = 6 (The Lovers)

Only the Major Arcana cards are used, so you need to keep the final number under 23 (22 = The Fool).

There are two options regarding the time period for the year card to be valid:

from birthday to birthday (in this case from 18th July 2006 until 17th July 2007)

Calendar year (1st Jan—31 Dec)

You can use either or combine both. When combining them, The Lovers and The Hierophant (from 18th July 2005 onwards) would be both valid from 1st January 2006 until 17th July 2006 and in that period would interact with each other.

If you are a Tarot student, an interesting exercise would be to calculate your year cards from your birth year onwards and note all key experiences you had in each year (as far as your memory allows).

The result may surprise you, especially when you find out about your personal rhythm.

For example, you may notice that some cards do not appear in your chart at all even though your age might be well above 22. Other cards will appear on a regular basis.

It is up to you to determine the relevance of the absent cards and those that turn up in regular intervals with regards to your life lessons.

Suggestions for the year lessons of each card:
1. The Magician
  • Focus on options and opportunities
  • Pursue a new direction with willpower and ambition
  • Clarity of mind; all mental activity
  • Communication
  • Make things happen
2. The High Priestess
  • Develop your intuition
  • Trust your instincts
  • Self-nurturing
  • Be patient; situations will be resolved at the right time
3. The Empress
  • Motherhood or maternal instincts
  • Nurturing others
  • Make use of and develop your creativity
  • Fruitfulness, abundance
  • Love of nature and beauty
  • Settling down, security and stability
4. The Emperor
  • Important decisions need to be made, perhaps not easy
  • Be assertive
  • Leading the way
  • Take charge
  • Establish security
  • Finish projects that you’ve started
5. The Hierophant
  • Teaching or studying
  • Social interaction on a professional or ethical level
  • Working within hierarchies
  • Intellectual development
  • spiritual guidance
6. The Lovers
  • Relationships (partner, family, friends, colleagues)
  • Major choices regarding relationships
  • Taking responsibility
  • Following your heart without losing your head
7. The Chariot
  • Setting targets and goals
  • Proving yourself
  • Taking control with skill and determination
  • Overcoming struggle and tension
  • Persevering despite difficulties
8. Strength
  • Courage and endurance in times of adversity
  • Controlling anger or jealousy
  • Strong passions and desires
  • Letting situations unfold without forcing them
  • Being assertive and standing up for yourself
9. The Hermit
  • Solitude
  • Introspection
  • Contemplating
  • Reviewing your options
  • Prudence
  • Taking time out
  • Looking after your health
10. The Wheel of Fortune
  • Luck and fate
  • Completion of one cycle and beginning of another
  • Major change
  • Dealing with unforeseen events
11. Justice
  • Balance and harmony
  • Fairness
  • Legal or financial issues
  • Integrity
  • Partnerships
12. The Hanged Man
  • Gaining a new perspective
  • Making a sacrifice
  • Giving something up
  • Stagnation
13. Death
  • Letting go of something old to make way for something new
  • Transformation
  • Regeneration
  • Dealing with emotional pain
14. Temperance
  • Making concessions, compromises
  • Creating a healthy balance
  • Relinquish excessive lifestyle
  • Give and take
15. The Devil
  • Dependency
  • Manipulation
  • Reluctant to change; putting up with something negative
  • Creating unrest
  • Strong sexuality
16. The Tower
  • Sudden change
  • Shock to the system; can be positive or negative
  • Anger and pain
  • Starting from scratch
  • Revelation or epiphany completely altering your attitude or opinion of something
17. The Star
  • Period of hope and healing
  • Optimism for the future
  • Back to basics and nature
  • Sustainability
18. The Moon
  • Dealing with changing moods
  • Reflections and vivid dreams
  • Acknowledge and work with your inner rhythm and cycles
  • Being drawn by an unknown desire
19. The Sun
  • Achievement of major goal
  • Birth or marriage
  • Self-worth, confidence and contentment
  • Strong creative and passionate phase
20. Judgement
  • Dealing with criticism
  • Evaluation from yourself and others
  • Worldview and understanding
  • Transitions
  • Taking stock; review; analysis
21. The World
  • Sense of endless potential
  • Realising and accepting your limitations
  • Finding your place within a structure or in society
  • Being established
  • Concluding an ongoing situation
  • Settling down
22. The Fool
  • New beginnings and experiences
  • Flexibility and openness to change
  • Taking risks and trusting yourself
  • Travel and adventure

 What is your year card this year? What guidance does it offer you? 

Learn more about Tarot personality profiling in my Discovery Tarot Course

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